In his classic monologue on stuff, comedian George Carlin made fun of us for all of the stuff we accumulate throughout our lifetimes. He asserted that “A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it.”
Robert Frost wrote: “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.”
Home has long been a popular theme in poems, stories and movies. The Wizard of Oz gave us the phrase “There’s no place like home,” and in fact, the entire movie centers around Dorothy’s desire to get back home. And for Dorothy, although that home was far from perfect, she had a powerful connection to her home.
Even in the trilogy of The Lord of the Rings, home is incredibly important. Three books, hundreds upon hundreds of pages, a lot of endings, and it all ends up to be about returning home.
We long for a house as a marker of who we are. Socially a house is evidence of our success and achievement of the American dream. Houses substantiate our financial status, reputation, and taste.
In our country, in the twentieth century, the single-family residence became more affordable and more accessible for consumers. Unfortunately, the most accessible for white, upwardly mobile, middle-class residents. While we continue to hope and work towards racial equity in our culture, we have to recognize that people of color often have high-cost mortgages and are not as welcome in certain neighborhoods. The classic play A Raisin in the Sun written by Lorainne Hansberry addresses with this very topic.
Our house sometimes seems to be human: it holds our baggage, carries our pain, and shelters what is dear to us. Houses are more than status symbols. Within our house, we hope to find home. We also hope to find ourselves. We are often intrinsically linked to our house.
The houses we grew up in weren’t happy homes for some of us. So as adults we are able to choose differently. We can pick our own house and make it a home that fits us. As we make a house or apartment our home, we make choices and along with the people who join us in our house, we shape our houses into homes that provide us with the warmth, security and comfort we need.
“We shape our homes and then our homes shape us.” — Winston Churchill
The human animal is not so different from our ancestors. Just as animals have lairs and mark their territories, people have fundamental attachments to place and space. It’s no surprise that we often say people are going home to God when they die. We bring our fallen military heroes home to rest and sometimes we drive all night to get home, instead of stopping at a motel — (which, promises us all the comforts of home.)
There is pretty strong evidence that the environment in which people live is closely linked to their well-being.
“We have a need for a place that is called home. Home provides security, control, belonging, identity and privacy. But most of all, it’s a place that provides us with a centering — a place from which we leave each morning and to which we return each evening.” — Graham Rowles, Gerontology Professor at the University of Kentucky.
So now, I’m going to suggest that this is why our lives since March, 2020 has been so radically different. We didn’t leave our homes each morning and return in the evening. We stayed home. We worked from home. We did school at home. We did everything at home. We looked around and saw stained carpets and windows that needed to be replaced. We built new things and planted lots more flowers than normal. We fell in love all over again with our safe havens — our homes. And many of us continue to work and hold school in our homes today, 3 years later. Truth be told, many of us continue to stay home more, and we are very picky about where we go when we do leave. Our homes have become our castles, and the most significant place in our lives.
The Bible holds several references to our territory, our land and our dwelling being important to us for security and for safety. Back in 8th century BC, the prophet Micah declared:
“Everyone will sit under their own vine and under their own fig tree, and no one will make them afraid.” — Micah 4:4
And later, in the book of Isaiah, a blueprint for an ideal city was imagined with these words:
“At last they will live in the houses they build, and eat the fruit of the vineyard they plant. They will not build for another to inhabit; they will not plant for another to eat.” — Isaiah 65: 21-22
When we live in a home for a long time, we develop a different way of seeing the inside and the outside of the home. An outsider might say, “that cedar tree over there looks like it’s been through hard times — looks like it even got hit by lightning.” We might simply reply, “Oh, that cedar tree? That’s third base.”
Such memories become part of a person’s life story, which is central to their sense of well-being and assessment of whether their life has had meaning. As we age, our life stories take on added importance. The older we get, the more emotionally attached we become to our houses, our apartments, our homes. We are so familiar with the physical surroundings and the neighborhood that we can’t imagine living anywhere else.
Ultimately, our homes enhance our sense of identity. Our emotional well-being is improved by our growing attachment to our home. It can help to compensate for other losses in our lives. “Home becomes an emotional refuge — a place where we still have control.” — Professor Habib Chaudhury
Again, I will suggest that we found a renewed attachment to our houses, our apartments, our homes, post- pandemic, because it has been a place where we still have control, when outside of our home is clearly out of control. Our living spaces become our home. Here’s the takeaway, my friends. We are always building our house.
An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer of his plans to leave the house-building business to live a more leisurely life with his wife and enjoy his extended family. He would miss the paycheck each week, but he wanted to retire. They could get by.
The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go, and he asked him if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but over time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.
When the carpenter finished his work, his employer came to inspect the house. Then he handed the front-door key to the carpenter and said, “This is your house….my gift to you.”
Our house is important to us. We are always building our house. It becomes a reflection of us — our characters our tastes, and our values. Our living space becomes our home. Home: a gathering place, a shelter, and a sanctuary.
Evangelist, Billy Graham wrote: “Whenever I am traveling, I constantly look forward to the moment when I will return home. Even if I’m very busy and preoccupied, in the back of my mind one thought is always present: ‘Soon I’ll be going home!’ Home is a place of peace and security and rest; home is where I belong.” — Billy Graham
May we each build houses that become homes so that we view going home with the same excitement and expectation.
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